FLOURISH - #5
RETHINK - unhealthy thinking styles
Hi all,
I hope you are well. It’s part of everyday life to feel a little stressed or anxious, especially when a major event is on the horizon like an exam or an interview. However, if you find yourself anxious and stressed more often than not, that could be a sign that something needs to change. When feeling anxious or stressed is a common occurrence, it could indicate that there is a style of thinking or a way you are approaching a circumstance that is unhealthy.
These thinking patterns or thinking styles can develop when we encounter difficult circumstances and need to find a way to cope and process the feelings and thoughts that arise. For example, if you failed a test at school leading to a verbal scolding by your parents you may start to think “it’s all my fault, I’m stupid” or “I should never fail a test again”. These are both examples of unhealthy thinking styles which, compounded over time, can become more extreme and distressing. “It’s all my fault, I’m stupid” can become a tendency to unnecessarily take on all the blame for something that may not be entirely within your control. “I should never fail a test again” can create an unreasonable amount of pressure and expectation for yourself. Learning to recognize these thinking styles in yourself can help you understand why you feel certain ways in stressful situations and how to then address that. Recognizing these thinking patterns in others can also help you to understand why they might seem stubborn or volatile when they are stressed or anxious.
Here are some of the most common unhealthy thinking styles. There is some overlap between some styles and are not meant to be distinct “categories”, but meant to help you see if there is a pattern to how you think.
Mental Filter - Focusing on certain pieces of evidence and discarding others. For example, only looking at the negative parts of a situation and ignoring the positive parts.
Black & White Thinking - Only seeing the extremes of a situation, all or nothing. Either something is good or bad, there is no in-between. I am right, he is wrong.
Over-generalization - Using an instance (past or present) and imposing it on all current/future situations. “He never…” or “ I always…” or “That never works…”
I should/I Must - Putting an unreasonable amount of expectation and pressure on yourself or others, even if the intentions are good. “He should have done…then…”
Catastrophizing - Blowing negative things out of proportion. “It’s the end of the world”
Minimizing - Reducing your own positive qualities and achievements, downplaying their importance.
Jumping to Conclusions - Assuming what others think or predicting what will happen in the future. “He probably thinks I’m stupid” or “If I don’t pass this test I will never be able to find a job”.
Personalization - Blaming yourself for everything that went wrong or that is bad, even when it is not entirely in your control or in your control at all.
Do one or two of these thinking styles jump out at you or seem familiar? Try and remember the last time you felt stressed or anxious. Do any of these thinking patterns match your thoughts about the circumstances? Think about how you could have better approached that situation mentally and how to process that situation healthily.
If you want to find out more about your thinking styles or if you want to discuss how to modify those unhealthy thinking patterns, you can talk to your therapist.
Warm regards,
Florence
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