FLOURISH - #4
Expressing Your Emotions
Hi all,
In Issue #1 we learned how to get in touch with our feelings and emotions, in Issue #2 we learned how to identify and name these emotions and in Issue #3 we learned how we might incorporate that into our daily lives. As such, the natural progression and focus of this issue is to learn how to express and communicate these emotions.
Being able to express our emotions in a way that is healthy is important, particularly when forging or maintaining relationships. Identifying and naming how you are feeling is part of taking ownership of your emotions, but it is equally as important to take ownership of how you communicate those emotions. It isn’t necessarily reasonable to assume that others around you know what you are thinking and how you are feeling, even your loved ones. It might feel frustrating when you expect someone to know how you feel, but dispelling any doubts or assumptions by communicating clearly and honestly will help create a healthier and stronger connection.
The way that we express our feelings may be just as important as the feelings themselves. Using accusatory and combative language like,
“You’re so lazy and selfish, I always have to make dinner and clean up while you just sit around and watch TV!”
is very different from,
“I’m exhausted and I feel taken for granted sometimes, I would really appreciate it if you can help me with dinner and around the house.”
The first quote feels and sounds confrontational and aggressive and would probably elicit a defensive response, leading to a cycle of blame and negativity. Try to frame your emotions and needs in a constructive manner that focuses on how you feel and how they can help you. Use phrases like “I feel…when…” instead of “You” when expressing your emotions, this can help someone empathize and see things from your perspective.
Communication is a two-way street. Whether someone is responding to your expressing of emotions or communicating feelings of their own, learning to listen actively and willingly is crucial for a healthy relationship. There are two sides to every interaction and considering the emotions of the other party is important in fostering a stronger connection. Giving them the chance to explain their perspective and bring up things you may have overlooked might lead to better understanding and empathy on the whole.
Ultimately, fostering a relationship where you and the other party are both able to honestly express their emotions without fear of retaliation or judgment is the objective. I hope this newsletter encourages you to express your emotions constructively and communicate honestly!
Warm regards,
Florence
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